I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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