Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
