would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
