butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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