the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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