yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
