He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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