I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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