he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
