some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
