Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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