just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Four minutes until I can fart!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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