Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This house was built for laser tag.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
