I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
well you can't waste a boner
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
