His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
