Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
zippers are such a cool invention
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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