I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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