He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
