By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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