I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
