It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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