Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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