At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
