we have officially lost it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drake has all the answers
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
