I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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