Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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