and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
