bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
