Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
