He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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