she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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