i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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