I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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