this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
