Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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