I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
