dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
