I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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