And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
