I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
