so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
