Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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