I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Please don't give away my fajitas
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
