Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
