You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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