once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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