Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
