I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
