I cockslap morals
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize