I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
