no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
