dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
