guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
