I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
