Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
