Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
