We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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