Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
