somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
