best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
