I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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