Kiss
Puke
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
