I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
