Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize