you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Im part way to drunk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize