How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
