i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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