there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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